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We’ve all heard about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, often referred to — and even minimized in today’s lexicon — as PTSD. It is a psychiatric disorder that sometimes occurs in people who have experienced or witnessed a horrific event, such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act (think 9/11) war or combat or rape, or who have been threatened with sexual violence or serious harm. Our grandfathers and great-grandfathers may have come across PTSD in the form of combat fatigue or shell shock. But trauma doesn’t just befall combat veterans.
In today’s podcast episode, Dr. Tanner Wallace, in her most transparent and beautiful self, explores how trauma experienced as a child from abuse or neglect impacts our lives as adults in our relationships with our spouses and lovers, our children, our friends, and colleagues. Unrealized trauma experienced as children wreaks havoc on our adult lives, often toxifying the very relationships we hold the dearest.
“Trauma is always context-bound,” she says.
Tanner spent 20 years studying human development before she pivoted to work exploring the nature of childhood trauma. The pivot came about as a result of big problems in her second marriage and her parenting in which Tanner’s own trauma resurfaced from sexual assaults as an adolescent and teenager and some abuse at the hands of a parent.
The realization sent Tanner off on a completely new path, utilizing what she learned about human development. She created a platform called the Relational Healing Lab. She uses her podcast and Instagram to talk the language of childhood trauma. Tanner has unlocked the voices for thousands of childhood trauma survivors.
Ultimately, Tanner says, you can heal from childhood trauma through the right kind of work. I’ll let Tanner explain. In our conversation, Tanner is brutally honest about her own struggle to heal and what she learned about the immense difficulties of healing.
This conversation is very personal and that is probably why it is among the most transformative conversations I’ve ever had on Interesting Humans. For the past six months, I’ve been in therapy to address some difficult challenges in my personal life. I’ve uncovered my own unrealized childhood trauma caused by neglect from my parents, including anger and violence from my father, who is now deceased. I’m so grateful the universe sent Tanner across my radar. She offers insight, hope, and love on the way to finding peace for childhood trauma survivors. I hope you enjoy meeting Dr. Tanner Wallace.
Links:
Dr. Tanner Wallace’s podcast: Relational Healing Podcast
Dr. Tanner Wallance on Instagram: @drtannerwallace
Gabor Mate film: The Wisdom of Trauma (to be released December 2021)
Richard C. Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems approach to trauma therapy
Pete Walker, From Surviving to Thriving, a book on addressing childhood trauma
Justin Martin, IFS therapist
Intro and outro music provided by WILDES